When it comes to finding a potential suitor or love interest, it can be difficult to get into the dating scene. This is where speed dating becomes an option for many who do not want to waste time and money on countless dates for a match that just won’t work. Speed dating can be an extremely successful endeavor for both men and women when you employ smart techniques and charm. However, this only works if you don’t allow poor behavioral patterns, like setting high expectations or letting your nerves take the rein, overcome you and interrupt the potential for a great night. With this said, here are a few tactics that you can employ to get better and smarter at speed dating.
1. Choose to Live in the Moment.
Do not make plans for after your speed dating event. This will cause you to check your watch every 5-15 minutes and make it seem like you aren’t interested in the event at all. If you rush out the door or bring a friend who is waiting for you, others will take notice if your behavior. Always give your full attention to the night.
2. Calm Down Your Nerves.
When you let your nerves get the best if you, it makes it hard to concentrate on the conversation you are supposed to have. This can make interactions with others feel either really awkward, beyond just the “break-the-ice-awkward” and it may cause you to sweat profusely which can be a source of embarrassment or anxiousness. Instead, try to remain as calm as possible and concentrate on just getting to know the other person. After all, that’s what speed dating is about, getting to know the person across the table.
3. Remember That Not Everyone is For You.
Don’t check off all those boxes and shotgun every single table. Not only will this cause you to have less time to put into the ones you are really interested in, not everyone is going to be for you. It ends up being a complete waste of time. Only check off the boxes for those who truly interest you.
4. Show Off Your Best Side.
Make sure that you show your best self. This means showing up in such a way where you are comfortable. Wear those lucky socks, wear that favorite shirt, and pump up the effort and confidence.
5. Remove Those High Expectations.
The key here is to always choose to get to know someone if you were attracted to what they had to say. We tend to go on whether we were instantly attracted to someone’s physical appearance, and although this is important, it doesn’t denote that the match is a good one. Keep in mind that not everyone is going to check off all of your boxes and long-term compatibility is always going to be based on the potential bond you can form.
6. Watch Your Body Language.
Try not to directly face the individual that you are talking with as this can create some pressure. Other than this, make sure you do not lean in too far towards the other person as this can come off as desperate. Instead, sit back in your chair and make sure that you have a relaxed posture.
7. Hold That Eye Contact.
When you smile and hold eye contact you are biologically more likely to release the “love hormones” that cause attraction. Although it may feel awkward at first, try smiling to break up that sexual tension you feel as this will help fuel the conversation forward and let the tension build at a much subtler and slower rate.
8. Show Off Your Personality With Accessories.
This is one of the ways that you can be unique and show the other person a little bit more about yourself without saying anything. These accessories can also be a good conversation starter making things less awkward. Regardless, a unique accessory and a nice scent will immediately set you apart from everyone else in the room.
Other than the above, make sure that you don’t talk about yourself for the entire time you are at the table. This not only comes off as self-centered but you won’t be able to get to know the other person at all. This will cause them to become disinterested in you because they will think you are only there to “toot” your own horn. Finally, don’t make work the topic, chances are you have a similar job to others in the room, especially if you work in the professional sphere. Instead, talk about your interests that make you memorable. If you enjoy wine tasting, going to flea markets, purchasing vintage art, or skydiving; talk about these types of interests.